Another crap day. Grey and cold. I can feel myself becoming more depressed. I really do think my general happiness is linked to sun, I was never happier than when we lived in Dubai. The UAE is the only country that I have ever lived in where I didn’t take medication. I miss it. A friend suggested a SAD lamp to me this morning, I think its time I invested in one. I have spent the day sat on my sofa on the verge of tears I can barely hold back.

It took me all day to crochet 2 square, todays and the catch up square I missed when I hurt my hand. I struggled to concentrate but I managed.

Square 39 is a variation on a log cabin square. I followed a video on youtube from Nadia at  Yarnutopia.

Square 40 is the Beth Square by BabyLove Brand – The written pattern is free on Ravelry.com I did not do the last two rounds on the pattern as the square would have been too big for me that way so I finished off with two rounds of single crochet.

I pretty proud of managing them both even if it did take me forever. This time last year I wouldn’t have been able to drag myself out of bed on a day I felt like this. I need to keep reminding myself I am so much better than I have been. Since the children went back to school in January I have got up every morning and taken them to class myself rather than letting my housekeeper do it. I know that sounds like nothing but for me its a huge deal. My average time for getting up and motivated was 10/11am sometimes later. Now its up and ready before 8. Ok so I still feel broken but I am trying to fight rather than just giving into it. It’s weird how crochet seems to have helped, I guess it’s just having something I enjoy and can engage my brain in.